![dear prudence slate dear prudence slate](https://compote.slate.com/images/dd56d52e-952f-45bc-a2f9-f6e4c47ff2a1.jpeg)
![dear prudence slate dear prudence slate](https://compote.slate.com/images/59c34717-ebd6-4bfe-845f-f7f50e023f85.jpeg)
I made a wish list at our local jewelry store where I purchased the watch and told him that I did so. I had told him several times (because he asked) that I was purchasing a somewhat expensive gift. I had saved for 2 months (I only work part-time for "my" spending money, so I don't make much) to buy him a watch and then had it engraved with a personal message. This past Wednesday was my husband and I's 10th wedding anniversary. You both need help discussing your goals and fears with each other and figuring out a way to stay together that makes both of you happy. Since you two are at an impasse invest the money you would have spent on a dress and reception in some short-term counseling. If your goal is to be together - which you are now - that doesn't make sense. Unless your boyfriend makes it legal, you are willing, in effect, to get a divorce and wrench apart another family. You seem to have a somewhat backward approach to this relationship. However, it would be a good idea, since you have a child, to have the protections that marriage brings. Given there are five children between you and finances are tight, a big wedding is the last thing you need.
#Dear prudence slate license
Surely you can afford a marriage license and the parking fee at city hall. I also don't understand how finances play into the wedding question. He needs to recognize that whatever happens, you two have a child together and whether you marry or not, divorce or not, you will be in each other's lives. It probably would have been a good idea for you and your boyfriend, to assess each other's readiness for a permanent relationship before you two procreated. But my heart says to hang on, and eventually he'll get over his fear. A part of me thinks that I should just move on, that if he's not sure after 5 years, then he never will be. I don't know what to say when asked when the wedding is, or why I'm not wearing my ring anymore. But I love him, we have built a family, (he has two children from his first marriage, I have two from mine, and we have one together) a home, and a good life together. He says he loves me with all his heart, and doesn't want to lose me, but I don't see how I can just go back to the way things were before the proposal. A few months later he admitted that he was scared, didn't want to end up divorced again, and didn't think he was quite ready. When our financial situation got back to normal, I began asking my fiancee' if we could set a new date, but he was reluctant to do so. I was really disappointed, but understood why it had to be done. We set a date in the summer of 2010, but due to financial hardships, we had to post-pone the wedding indefinitely. In February 2009, my live-in boyfriend asked me to marry him, and I happily accepted.